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June
4th
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"Insecure.org
- UnixWars" heheh.. *nix fans read ahead.. anyone
else might not get the references..
Sent in by: Ellis_Dee

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"Licensing
Time Bomb" hehe, 'Renting' Software.. neato idea,
cept i dont like that whole 'repossession' factor.. infact, i would
kick some sersious ass if Microsoft repossessed my OS cuz i missed a
payment.. oh well.. this will just put more preasure on independant
groups to put out good FREE software.. or a lifetime license..
Sent in by: Toool

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"The
Original Joe Forman Micro Gerbil" bawhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahah
more flash! bhahhwhahhahahahahahah
Sent in by: ???? uhm i closed the window before i
pasted the name. im gay

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"Feer
my skilz(jpg)" rofl! click it..
Local copy here
Sent in by: Wolf-

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June
4th
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"Laws
of Anime" hehe, all you Japanimation fans out there
will laugh yer ass off, cuz its all true. infact, like 80% of these
are visible in any Japanime flic.. heres some paste to go with your
circle of paper :)..
#6 - Law of Temporal Variability Time is not a constant.
Time stops for the hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive'.
Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds
up whenever there is a fight.
#7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality 'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both
die in one of two ways - either so quick they don't even see it coming,
OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight
to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always
lands butter side down.
Sent in by: Myth2

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"Special
Report - Starwars Personality quiz" alright, true
starwars geeks will get off on this.. you answer 44 questions regarding
your personality, and hit the big 'submit' button, and it calculates
your personality and compares it to a character from starwars, ie, this
is my result..
OBI-WAN KENOBI
No, not the brash, young Jedi currently on screen, but Alec Guiness'
wise hermit of the Classic Trilogy. You are a quietly graceful leader
who people seek out. You may have fallen from grace, perhaps had power
usurped by young upstarts, but the right people know you are on the
mark.
Sent in by: Dragn

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"Yahoo
- Sleepwalking, Sleepkilling?" if this guy 'gets
off' i gotta sleep more.. well, i gotta sleep kill everyone i graduated
with :).. anyway, apparently this guy was asleep, and killed his wife..
Now this wasn't a simple 'smothering' like rolling over on yer with
a pillow between you, this was a "lemme goto the kitchen and grab
a big knife, then head back to the beadroom, stab her 44 times, and
take yer bleeding body and throw it into the pool, all while hiding
evidence.." wow, that much coordination while asleep. thats talent..

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"AltMedia
- May the underpants be with you" hehe, follow up
on the "phrases from starwars with words switch to 'pants'"...
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June
3rd
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"AOL
Aquires Leading Internet Music Companies" wow, guess
whats gonna be gay by the next version? lemme think.. Winamp, Shoutcast,
and whatever proggy Spinner.com does.. this is just like AOL, "Hey
since all our services suck, lets buy something good, and turn it into
ass.. so it fits our image".. im so waiting for like Microsoft
to buy AOL, so that there can be a black hole consisting entirely lameness..
hrmm. MSAOL!@ it even looks good when typed!@#!# oh well. a-gay!

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"CNN
- Clinton to order Youth Violence Study" i can already
read what the final report shall say... "the source of all Youth
Violence stems around computers.. Computers are totally to blame, oh
and so are black trenchcoats, and guns.. but Trenchcoats more importantly
then guns".. oh well, its hardly worth the click...

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"Lamers
Transport(jpeg)" k, i dont really have a discription
for this, except.. "Now i know how lamers get to places.."
Local copy here
Sent in by: Madhouse

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"Buy.com
- 10$ Coupon" all you buy.com junkies out there,
click this link, and add it to your basket, its 10$ off any purchase
of 10+$.. now i choose not to use it, cuz by the time it cleared to
border and stuff, it would cost me like 30$ for a 1$ package.. oh well..
you americans will enjoy it..
Sent in by: Mr_Kablam

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"Yoda
Milk (jpeg)" ehhe.. you guessed it..
Local copy here
Sent in by: quanja

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June
2nd
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"Excite
- NZ Censors struggle to master computer games"
well, it looks like the kiwi government is trying to crack down on sex
and violence in video games.. whats next? Australia trying to censor
pr0n?.. oh wait, that is actually happening.. All i can say is, I'm
glad i live in a semi free country, where the only stuff thats censored
is the media.. (like thats a great feat or something, Media is the only
real thing you can NEVER trust these days.)

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"C|Net
- Power line, future of Broadband?" wow, fuck this
Cable Modem shit, gimme some of this lovin.. and Internet backbone through
your existing Power Lines (uhm you know the big fat lines outside yer
house that deliver power to ya, thats what im talking about)..
In discussions with financial backers and potential political
supporters, the company has said individual consumers could get network
connections of 2.5 gigabits per second--an estimate the company calls
highly conservative.
That's not quite an exobit. But even at that speed, one could have
high-quality, real-time videoconferencing or easily watch a movie
downloaded from the Net.
uhm k, someone correct my math if im wrong, but thats like 312megs/s which would totally kaq out 80% of all house Harddrives..

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"John
Carmack's Plan - On Crack" heh, more javascript
fun.. i'd paste what i got, but its HUGE (all the ladies say that about
me, infact, their thinking about adding my manhood to the Nation Anthem..)..

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"Mr.
T versus Everything" hehe. its exactly what it claims
to be.. my favorite hero (pending Major Falcon's demise in G.I.Joe)
of the 80's has come back to 'lay down the smack' on everything thats
Holy and Unholy in todays complex; minority rule, life. anyway, its
a big list, with TONS of 'blurb/bubble style conversations.
Sent in by: TOoooOOoOoOoOOoOOl (he's got more 'O's
then yermother eating box of Cheerios)

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June
1st
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"A
guide to Star Wars Lightsabers" a literal "Who's
who?" on lightsabers... ya, only geeks will click this link, and
then commence to download the sound file of the Lightsaber lighting
:)..

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"Blizzard.nu/lol"
sorry for the raw dir listing, but theres too much neato stuff for me
just to link one of them. check it, its pretty cool :).. specially the
eyetest, and uhm the microsoft one.. *shutter*..
Sent in by: Psychic

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"Mang.net
- Barney(jpeg)" hehehe.. this is funny for so many
reasons, so im not gonna ruin it.. (oh, and if you dont get it, go watch
hackers, and read the "Hacking Gibson Computers for Dummies"
book..
Local copy here
Sent in by: Maddog666

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"Dr.
Freeze - Total Computer Cooling" alright, this guy
is good, but he cheated.. He's using an air conditioner to cool the
mineral Oil.. oh well, i'd do it, but i have no desire to submerse my
computer in oil :).. but ya, with some innovation, this idea could be
100% successful.. none the less this guy definatly turned over a new
leaf with his designs... all the power to him.. (im only jealous that
i didn't come up with the idea first).. :)
Sent in by: Tooool

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May
31th
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"MSN
- Vanilla Ice is a wuss" hehe. k, im paraphrasing
again.. i think im addicted to paraphrasing.. argh.. this is gonna cost
me in my psychotherapy sessions.. anyway.. apparantly people actually
like Vanilla Ice again.. infact so much so, that they actually goto
his concerts (ya, believe it or not, it actually happened).. but ya,
one fan jumped on stage and started to kick his ass, so he stopped the
show.. what a pansy.. i dunno, im sure he's gay.. (no offence to macho
gay people)..

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"E!Online
- Fan say JarJar Stinks" wow, i can't believe that
people NOW are figuring this out.. JarJar == AssAss.. he was prolly
only left in the movie; cuz Lucas hates Jamaicans or something.. anyway,
you really dont need to read the article, i pretty much just summed
it up :)..

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"CNN
- US company plans to test 'Flying Car'" wow. <insert
jetsons here>.. a flying car. Now you'll be able to piss people off
in 3D.. just imagine, you'll now have a whole new dimension to cut people
off with.. How will the 'blinker' system work? with 4 levers? where
will they go? and what kinda blindspot issue would it create?.. "Hey
i wanna switch 'lanes' down, uhm WHERES MY FUCKING MIRROR!?!?? anyway
it should prove to be neato..
The Batmobile-shaped vehicle will seat four people, do
about 5 miles per liter of gas, have a top speed of over 600 mph and
will take off and land vertically.
uhm that should read 600kph.. NOT mph.. who ever did this 'copy' is a m0.. but.. after all its only CNN.. :)..

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"Star
Trek == Satan Trek" rofl!
Are you eager to learn the truth about this diabolic
show? Are you a "trekie" (fan) who wants to put his/her life right
with God? Are you a Christian who wants to combat the forces of Lucifer?
If you answered YES to any of those questions, then this website is
for you! Read on and you will see me expose the truth about the demonic
forces at work behind the Star Trek phenomena. You will also learn
how to witness the faith to "trekies" and others caught in Satan's
web of lies.
Sent in by: Gah! Windows is gay, i lost who sent
it in

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May
30th
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"Slate
- Racial Stereotypes in SW:EP1" hrmm. this is where
i bust out my cloak and white hood.. oh wait.. im nut an ignorant son
of a bitz.. I was/will never be a part of the KKK or any other racial
bigot group.. anyway.. check it.. but yes. i think the JarJar Bink char.
is brutal. i hope he dies. every time i see him on the screen i just
wanna kill every jamaican i see. uhm wait, thats not it.. i just wanna
kill jarjar.. stupid m0.. (nut ewe, jarjar).. :).
Sent in by: quj

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"Techweb
- Clinton backs cyber attack" mmm.. hackers for
hire. well. .its prolly part of a probation period for like Mitnick
or something :). i would suggest i should be apart of that group, but
well, im nut a hax0r any more.. bleh.. just read, you american Slime!..
hehe

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"Microsoft
- Windows 98, are you an idiot?" ok, so i modified
the title a bit.. its a gay quiz that my mother could answer regarding
windows 98 (whats astonishing about that is, she's used to Windows 3.11)..
oh well, needless to say, i passed with 100% right, and i've never even
used 98.. EVER!

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"Space
Moose - Episode I" hehehe. Space Moose oym.. ofcourse,
i want the 'dick magnet' t-shirt :). hrmm i think i might just get a
couple made up.. they would rule.. hrmm.. oh well, click it, its hilarious
in the Space Moose style..

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May
29th
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"Wired
- Australia set to bury pr0n" Boi... I'm glad i
dont live in the facist nation of australia.. *snicker*.. it looks like
they (australian gov't) is trying to remove the freedom of speech, oh
wait.. who says australians have that right?.. i dont recall them having
a constitution? or even a declarion of independance.. oh well, they're
screwed.. its ok though, cuz they're all convicts.. (ok, thats enough
australia bashing).. but where else can you find kangaroos and koala's?..
thats what i thought..

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"Brunching
- Starwars unvieled" Done with your standard Brunching
Shuttlecock style.. it rules..

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"Burn
Bunny" alright, I don't get it.. but its kinda wierd..
but heres what i think is going on, this chick, is all pissy cuz her
Rabbit (no phalicies here) uhm, hrmm. what did the rabbit do? maybe
uhm, it tried to run away, so she douced it in Lighter Fluid, and burned
it!. yeah yeah!.. BURN!
Sent in by: NineSecSR

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"Foxnews
- Cox, Dicks Urge Tighter Controls On Technology Exports to China"
Fuck the article. read the title; its much more entertaining.. bhqhwhhwhahahahahh..
but if you actually plan on reading it, heres some pasties..
"That would be the worst of all possible worlds," Cox
told a House International Relations subcommittee, because China would
still get the technology but U.S. businesses and workers would be
harmed.
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May
28th
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"Geek
Gourmet - Geek inspired recipes" hehe.. I fit into
this catagory, infact, i should submit some of my recipes.. cept, that
they are VERY private.. and some even contain GHB (jk) :).. ohwell read
up.. this is how geeks get chicks.. no more trying to 'startrek' a chick
into a relation ship.. ( 'startrek' == talking about startrek and how
certain female characters would look better in a bikini rather then
their restrictive outfits, it never works :)
Sent in by: Hee-la (the man)

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"Tigger
Pr0n" hehe. i dunno if i posted this awhile ago,
but it looks like they've updated it a bit since then.. check it out,
its definatly good for a laugh...
Sent in by: Perlandra

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"Excite
- Starwars movie falls short of #1" ehehe. didn't
win that whole "highest grossing film of all time" award..
whooohoo! beaten by Jurassic Park!..
"Star Wars: Episode 1 -- The Phantom Menace", one of
the most widely anticipated movies in history, grossed about $61.8
million for the Friday-to-Sunday period, said its distributor, Twentieth
Century Fox.
By contrast, "The Lost World" pulled in about $72 million during the
Memorial Day holiday weekend of 1997. But with a tally of $102.7 million
since opening last Wednesday, "Phantom Menace" handily eclipsed the
"Lost World" five-day record of $98.8 million. It also broke "Lost
World's" single day record of $26.1 million when it opened to $28.5
million.

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"Starwars
- Lightsabers" a technological breakdown of how
a Light Saber should work, along with some misc. data.. its kinda cool.

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May
27th
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"CNN
- Guerilla warfare on the internet" hax0r hax0r
hax0r hax0r hax0r hax0r hax0r hax0r hax0r hax0r hax0r hax0r hax0r hax0r
hax0r hax0r hax0r hax0r hax0r hax0r hax0r hax0r

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"Excite
- Cell phone for prostitutes" What the fuck?.. you
gotta read this.. im totally not shitting you.. the canadian government
is going to buy Prostitutes Cellphones to insure their security, becuase
in BC theres this pesky Prostitute Serial killer.. Now, if you look
at this from my angle... you wont see a problem.. well, cept for the
phone buying part.. see, its called a job risk. if you want to be a
prostitute you have to understand that whole, 'getting killed by your
clients' thing.. oh well.. who needs job security anyway these days?..

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"CNN
- y2k spooks people into the hills" wow.. I dont
know what to say..... what kinda m0's are these people.. if they fear
y2k this much, chances are they have no idea what it actually is.. "Oh
look, something we dont understand, lets run from it and hide in those
rocky hills, and wait till society comes to a screeching halt on january
first 2000, cuz thats when the evil 200foot beast named y2k conquers
the world.." god damn.. i hope they die of disentary or something..
That would be ironic.. So scared of technology, that they get killed
by a 1000year old disease.

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"eBay
- ICQ #163896" Oh, god.. ICQ # FOR SALE! OMG!. oh
wait.. i dont care.. :)..
Local mirror here
Sent in by: Loki

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"C|Net
- Mp3 wins royalty dispute" whoohoo! oh wait, i
mean... Mp3's are bad, if you dont own the original CD/Tape/Vynil/8track/etc.
:)..
The RIAA sought to increase the 6.5 percent rate established
by the Library of Congress last year. The trade association at one
point said it and its members should receive more than 40 percent
of the revenue derived from sales of digital music.
Sent in by: The_Brain

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"Starwars
- Pants" heh. k, this is kinda funny, not really,
but amusing to all those geeky Starwars fans out there. its a series
of quotes from the starwars movies where some of the words have been
replaced with 'pants' or other words to take the meaning right out of
them :)..
Sent in by: Nite

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May
26th
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"Darwin
Awards - Medical Reference" well, this is just the
peice de la resitance (pardon muh french) and kinda added to the fox
injury line up on tv last night.. "America's Scarriest Train wrecks"
and "Biggest Morons caught on tape".. hehe. anyway. you get
to use yer imagination, cuz there is no video tape to back this up with..
but if yer really sick, scroll down to the 'Scrotum self repair' section..
*Bleh*..
Sent in by: Papercut

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"Mr.T
vs. Darth Maul" mmmm. Mr.T.. Man.. i really miss
the A-Team.. hrmph..
Sent in by: Dumbals

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"Milk
- Wheres your mustache?(jpeg)" more Starwars ep1
love.. in the form of a Milk add, now i dont know if this is actually
gonna be a milk add, but if it is.. it would oym!
Local copy here
Sent in by: Das

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"Spacious
Dick(jpeg)" hehehe.. gotta love those pesky unforseen
typo's that make the world easier to live with.. its almost freudian,
cuz this chick needs a huge dick in her life.. :) check it..
Local copy here

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"Hitachi
researchers show new DRAM-like memory" a followup
link, from a the past.. i forget the exact other link that this is referring
to, but its in my archives somewhere :).. anyway, geeks enjoy..

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"CNN
- Dead Soldier commited Suicide with 26 stab wounds"
More American bullshit from the media.. (well, its the media pointing
it out).. but we all know, that if 'you' were gonna commit suicide,
it would be; by stabbing yerself 26times.. wtf?. how stupid does the
media think we are, this reminds me of all those Swatt raids, when the
suspects, would 'commit suicide' when the swat team would enter the
'kill zone'.. oh well, who trusts the media these days anyway?

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"MSNBC
- Microsoft hires Linux spy team" heheh.. and to
top it off, this is being reported from Microsofts news team.. i dunno..
I can't explain it.. but... it appears that Bill is still frightened
of Linux.. and he should be.. but.. he's also a smart geek.. (course,
99% of real geeks are geniuses).. he's willing to wait and see what
people like about linux, and adopt those properties into the next MSOS..

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Ahhh.. nothing
like a nice vacation.. im finally almost well rested.. although my brain
is still swimming in a combination of Molson Export, and Jack Daniels..
but all is good. Oh, and I saw 'The Mummy' aswell. and its pretty funny..
think of it as a spruced up 'Army of Darkness'.. the humor is VERY similar,
so, if you enjoyed AOD, you'll prolly like this, even though Brendan
Fraiser is in it, (i'll never forgive him for co-starring with Pauly
Shore in Encinoman..) so ya, everything should return to normal, and
enjoy this HUGE update.
.Creator  |
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