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March 21st
"CNN - Utah Adding Porn Czar" heheh. this is pretty funny. k, utah is now hiring someone (yet to be determined) to be a person who will re-define the word "Pornography" to eliminate/suppress or restict how pornography is "used" in Utah.. go on, read it.. its funny :).
"DetNews - Rap Fan Punished by Wayne Newton" ghahahahahaha.. i dont get how this is actual punishment.. i like wayne newton..

"Diablo II Public Beta Test Signup" hey, if you liked diablo (pretty much everyone who tried it loved it..) sign up for the sequels public (its hard to believe, the first time i typed "public" i actually typed out "pubic" god, theres something wrong with my brain) but ya, sign up, theres only 1000 spots (if i dont get picked im gonna kick some ass)..
"ABCNews - U.S. easing restictions on Iran" great... their lowering the prices of Nutz, and Caviar.. how about lowering the price on Gas you greedy bitchez~!..

"NetworkWorldFusion - Sprint/MCI merger denied" DOWN WITH MONOPOLIES~! DOWN WITH MONOPOLIES~!.. Stick it to the man~!
MCI WorldCom and Sprint this morning are reeling from a report by a prominent analyst that says the Department of Justice will block the two carriers' proposed merger.
Scott Cleland, lead analyst for the Legg Mason Precursor Group, said that the Justice Department is preparing to request an injunction against the merger in federal court. MCI WorldCom and Sprint would then have the right to seek a trial, but Cleland noted that few mergers held up in this manner ever go through.

"MSNBC - Largest Credit Card Theft in History" hahah, the Gov't is just finding out about this a year after it happened (Jan. 1999).. idiots :).. apparently some hax0r kid busted the US Gov's Database of Card numbers (i wonder what the USGOV was doing with 450,000 credit card numbers? monitoring them maybe?) but ya, most of the cards are VISA.. so if you have a visa, and you live in the states, contact your bank or something :)..
"Maxim Online - Man Gives Death the finger 21 Times" hehe a nice article about a guy who has "cheated" death 21 times.. and its not like.. "ya one day i was walking on a crosswalk, then... the Light told me "NOT TO WALK" but i did anyway.. heh. im such a badass".. its actually pretty funny :)..
Sent in by: Tooool
"JerkCity - TCP/IP" ROFLMAO
Sent in by: Nattyboy
 
March 20th
Ugh, going on 50hours without sleep.. god my life sucks.. all this for nothing *Blah blah blah* anyway im sure i'll feel better tommorow.. ( <sarcasm> ya, im sure </sarcasm> )
.Creator

"Herald Tribune - Pakistani man sentenced to death, then acid" heh. serves this m0nutz right... k, this guy murder 100 kids.. so.. the judge sees it fitting to kill him like he killed the children.. heres some paste..
LAHORE, Pakistan - A court here sentenced a man to death Thursday for the murder of 100 children, and the judge ordered that he be strangled in front of the victims' parents, cut into pieces and the pieces thrown into acid.
The judge ordered that the man, Javed Iqbal, 42, be executed in a park in this eastern city by suffering the same fate as his victims.
''You will be strangled to death in front of the parents whose children you killed,'' said Judge Allah Baksh Ranja in his sentence. ''Your body will then be cut into a 100 pieces and put in acid the same way you killed the children.''

"MSNBC - Hackavists plan Major DDOS attack" great..... anyone ever play the old Online Door (old school BBS ASCII games) called BRE? remember how you could send a Gooie Kablooie (only in multi-bbs mode) to another BBS to assrape them?. well this is VERY similar.. but... it apparently warns the site before the attack.. (i dont quite know what the point is... like did the Japan tell the USA that they were sending fighters to perl harbour? no.. `course not.. )..
"Netpliance - I-Opener" Get'em while their hot.. only $99bucks... i feer.. also, see this Wired article on the guy behind the I-Opener.

"CNN - Doctors reattach boys arm, bitten off by Tiger" ok, wait.. im not even gonna ask why this kids uncle had a pet Bengal tiger, or why this kid was allowed to stick his arm into the cage.. but more importantly.. it took 11hours to reattach it.. (if you recall a couple weeks baq) some surgeons in like africa only took 8hours to reattach a mans penis.... which do you think should have taken longer? Penis? or Arm?... i would totally have to vote for the penis.. but oh well, im prolly wrong..
"CNN - Stephen King writes eBiz Book" as if Stephen Kings books didn't suck enough on paperbaq, they've oozed over onto the Internet.. Kill me..

"The Worlds Largest Gang-bang Thumbnails" k, well this isn't the one that was broken shortly after newyears 2000, but this is the one before it.. (still funny to check out).. but ya, look at the pictures.. that is the sorriest (sorryest) collection of men i've ever seen.. each of them has this "OH MAN, IM GONNA GET LAYED~!" (that spelling mistake was made on purpose to show the general stupidity of the m0's who participated).
Sent in by: _Ram
"eBay - An Empty Box" hehe. this has the most class for a joke auction..
Local copy here
Sent in by: ^_ToXiC_^

"Yahoo - Irridium Satelites set to Burn up" this is cool, k, this small cellular phone/telco place is going outta business, so instead of selling all its assets, its going to "de-orbit" all 66 of its orbiting satelites.. which should be cool since we should be able to see them burn up in the atmosphere (presuming they trajectory isnt' too steep).. anyway, its neat, read it. :).
Sent in by: Witz0r
 
March 19th
Sorry for the small update today, but im beyond busy.. check tommorows post, i'll make sure its big :)..
.Creator

"ZDNet - IBM Claims largest desktop harddrive" hehe 75gigs, in one drive... notice... there is no MSRP :).. it'll prolly go for like a grand or so...

"ZDNet - AOL Faux Napster - Unauthorized" as if Napster wasn't gay enough, AOL had to go out and make their own version.. inwhich they prolly infringed on some kinda copyright :). heh idiots..

"Excite - Woman Seeks Sex Before Divorce" hehe, this woman wants sex one last time before she divorces her husband.. :)..

"MSNBC - Fuel-Cell Future of Gasoline?" NEWS: This possibly could lower the gas cost of your car... i feer the future

"2000 Crashes, Windows 2000 that is" nice little security page.. get the con/con fix for win9x..

 
March 18th
"WeeklyWorldNews - PRETTY COED DIES IN WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" Shizzy.. what a way to go.. but hey, thats whatcha get when yer doing a "Wet T-shirt" contest on a Cold Summer day, and use ice cold water.

"MSNBC - Spielberg's next film; Kubricks 'AI'" bleh.. well i dunno what to think.. in my opinion (i always get flamed when i say that) Eyes wide shut, could have easily been called "ass wide open".. since it totally ate poo.. it sucked.. i can't believe that it was actually done by Stanley Kubrick.. anyway, Steven Spielburg is picking up Kubricks final work "AI" which was shelfed after he died.. ya, so we'll have to see how this turns out...
"Excite - Swedish Leader doubles as Pr0n star" I would fall over laughing if this happened in Canada.. and then i'd re-vote who ever it was baq into office :). just too see what he would do next :)..

"CNN - Kenyan women protest drinking dens, they demand sex" ghahahahahah.. heres some paste to go with the brewskies..
NAIROBI, Kenya (Reuters) -- A group of women stormed a Kenyan police station to demand officers either make love to them or close illegal drinking dens they said made their husbands impotent, a local newspaper reported on Wednesday.
The People newspaper said the women, from Kandara, north of Nairobi, brought business in the town to a halt with their day-long protest against excessive drinking by their menfolk.
"Our men have turned to vegetables. They leave home early and come back intoxicated. There is nobody to meet the sexual needs of wives," the newspaper quoted one woman as saying.

"GA-Source - New Matrix Action Figures" "new"??? i dunno.. i didn't realize that there were "old" action figures.. since our toy stores here in canada are fairly gay (all stuffed with Pokemon tripe..) bleh. but ya, some of these are pretty feersome.. i'd love to have the set.. (whenever they decide to go on sale in Canukia)..
"Real Mexican Sex Acts" alright, some of these are sick.. but i just can't stop laughing at the "Rodeo" one.. im not gonna ruin the surprize with a paste, so go read it yerself..
Sent in by: Hee-la
"98-Six - The Skinny on summer" this is a pretty funny (but real) article on the common phenomoun of "Man Boobs" and "Metabolism" its actually really good..
Sent in by: nattyboy
"How to report an internet related crime" hehehe this is actually a genuine site, check out the address... .gov... oh im not kidding :) but what i dont get is.. the table (close to the bottom of the page) could have been entirely cut out, and replaced with "IF ANYONE BREAKS THE LAW CONTACT THE FBI".. since all of the "appropriate agencies" are "FBI" bleh.. long story short, the government is gay..
Sent in by: Sombrfire
"Internet - Kids, do's and donts" GHAHAHaHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHA, i love the pictures... (course the site sucks) but take the "Get your drivers license" test thingy.. thats where all the funniness hides..
Sent in by: Iscariot
 
March 17th
"ZeroMotion - Rabbit Contest" ghahha. this makes SOOOOO Much sense.. i couldn't have put it any better myself...

"MSNBC - Split Views on Ebay, Yahoo talks" Oh Great.. yet another Merger.. hey i thought AOL owned Yahoo... the last thing we need is to have "aolBay" where you can go to sell all your goat pron and japanese kiddy pr0n.. oh well, when AOL buys anything it gets gayer..

"MSNBC - Teen Wins Prize for DNA Encryption" hehe. i feer.. read it.. its VERY Cool...

"Pink Dolls Web Catalogue" ok, dont bother downloading the 4meg Japanese Text Plugin.. you dont need it.. but ya, this is some freaky shizz... check it out...
Sent in by: Inner
"My Sympatico - Montreal Anti-Police-Violence clash with Riot Squad" oh ya, talk about misguided people.. these anti-violence protestor went around breaking windows and trashing cars on their way toward city hall.. oh wait.. it figures.. their from quebec.. one of the most ass backwards provinces around..
Sent in by: Brill
"Dress The Gothboy" hehe. Fun with flash 4.. :)..
Sent in by: BioFeedbk
"NASA Certificate - StarCraft(jpg)" This is where your tax dollars go....
Local copy here
Sent in by: _Psychic_

 
March 16th
"pi The Movie" if you havn't seen this movie, go see it, i caught it a couple weeks baq, and man.. it owned me.. not only did the movie rock, but the soundtrack was mastered by Clint Mansell (from PWEI). and uhm he even filmed it all himself.. i feer.. so ya, it owns, go rent it.

"ZDNet - The JimmiCam" hehe, insert JennyCam wannabe :). cept its not as "compelling" ie, you'll get bored of this joke in just a couple minutes.. so go ahead, it wont waste much of your time.. :).

"CNN - Europe fighting high gas prices" im glad to see Canada isn't in this "listing of fuel prices".. lemme see.. we pay $0.76 a litre (for the shizzy 87 octane stuff) .. there are 4Litres to a gallon.. 4 * .76 == $3.04 / gallon.. if canadians only knew how badly we were getting ripped off when it came to gas prices..... oh and for anyone who's counting.. that would put Canada 5th on that list..
"Daily Radar - McPeepshow" heh, i posted this image like over a month ago.. but ya.. everyone else takes credit for it.. bleh.. anyway, its funny.. i like their write-up better then mine :).. so read..

"ABCNews - U.S Urges Dot-Coms to help Fight CyberCrime" im just gonna paste some of this..
Online Neighborhood Watch
Daley said government and industry worked together on the Y2K problem. “I think if companies can help nail hackers who threaten our networks, it’s not just good for fighting crime, it’s good for the future of e-commerce,” he said.
Businesses “can do for the Internet what neighbors do for each other across the country, making communities safer by keeping an eye on each other. I think they should share their experiences and technologies with law enforcement,” he said.
“Businesses must step up their own efforts to make the Internet more secure and not wait for cybercops to be expanded,” Daley said.
so basically, the Feds can't do their job so they wanna turn every business owner into a "deputy" <insert dukes of hazard themesong here>
"Who Wants to be a President?" hehe, more fun with Shockwave
Sent in by: Flatline
"SeattleTimes - Spam suite tossed out" hahahahaha owned... Spammers Beware~!
Sent in by: Witz
"GodHatesFags - Death Penatly(gif)" uhm more religious Zealotry, but its funny, cuz it envolves Sodomy :)..
Local copy here
Sent in by: nattyboy
 
March 15th
"The Bench - Community of Cartooning - Eat your own nutz" uuuh. im sure someone out there will find this funny.....

"ABCNews - anti-milk ads draw fire" LOL, see yesterdays post of "Beer vs. Milk" ROFL..

"UserFriendly - X-Box, Trust No One" heheh <insert x-box joke here>

"DoomLing - a breakthrough in Palm OS Gaming" whoa~!. if i had a palm pilot or some other palm system, this would be one of the first things i would buy.. yup, you guessed it.. its Doom for you palm top organizer.. and its even better then it sounds, cuz it has multiplayer built in.. i imagine that it would use the IR stuff built in, (or maybe the modem, but the modem would be gayer).. just imagine.. playing Doom via yer IR port, inclass.. while doing some stupid bullshit exam or assignment.. i feer..
"I-Opener with Linux" OMG, check this out.. its another one of these "I-Boxes", ya, you remember, one of those boxes designed specifically for net use.. cept this one is leet... check it out.. im not gonna ruin the excellent hardware surprize in it.. (well, it doesn't have a 3D accelerator card built in, but if it did, it would totally own my nutz).. but ya, its actually a killer system :)..
Sent in by: Fr0glet
"Post-Gazette - Hazardous Chemicals removed from Bookline Appartment" hehe, this guy sounds cool.. this guy was making Picric Acid in his appartment.. this stuff i heavy, (i actually knew this stuff before reading the article) but ya, the military uses it in Anti Tank Missiles and Tank Ballistics.. this stuff is mean.. but ya, this guy was making it.. and he had a shitload of it too.. makes ya wonder what he was going to do with it.. i'll keep ya posted...
Sent in by: Pinkberry
"StarDudes(flash movie)" This is Very Cool.. its essentially the entire Episode III movie, cut down to run about 5mins, but ya, its cool.. check it out.
Sent in by: Flatline