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March
21st
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"CNN
- Utah Adding Porn Czar" heheh. this is pretty funny.
k, utah is now hiring someone (yet to be determined) to be a person
who will re-define the word "Pornography" to eliminate/suppress
or restict how pornography is "used" in Utah.. go on, read
it.. its funny :).

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"DetNews
- Rap Fan Punished by Wayne Newton" ghahahahahaha..
i dont get how this is actual punishment.. i like wayne newton..

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"Diablo
II Public Beta Test Signup" hey, if you liked diablo
(pretty much everyone who tried it loved it..) sign up for the sequels
public (its hard to believe, the first time i typed "public"
i actually typed out "pubic" god, theres something wrong with
my brain) but ya, sign up, theres only 1000 spots (if i dont get picked
im gonna kick some ass)..

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"ABCNews
- U.S. easing restictions on Iran" great... their
lowering the prices of Nutz, and Caviar.. how about lowering the price
on Gas you greedy bitchez~!..

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"NetworkWorldFusion
- Sprint/MCI merger denied" DOWN WITH MONOPOLIES~!
DOWN WITH MONOPOLIES~!.. Stick it to the man~!
MCI WorldCom and Sprint this morning are reeling from
a report by a prominent analyst that says the Department of Justice
will block the two carriers' proposed merger.
Scott Cleland, lead analyst for the Legg Mason Precursor Group, said
that the Justice Department is preparing to request an injunction
against the merger in federal court. MCI WorldCom and Sprint would
then have the right to seek a trial, but Cleland noted that few mergers
held up in this manner ever go through.

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"MSNBC
- Largest Credit Card Theft in History" hahah, the
Gov't is just finding out about this a year after it happened (Jan.
1999).. idiots :).. apparently some hax0r kid busted the US Gov's Database
of Card numbers (i wonder what the USGOV was doing with 450,000 credit
card numbers? monitoring them maybe?) but ya, most of the cards are
VISA.. so if you have a visa, and you live in the states, contact your
bank or something :)..

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"Maxim
Online - Man Gives Death the finger 21 Times" hehe
a nice article about a guy who has "cheated" death 21 times..
and its not like.. "ya one day i was walking on a crosswalk, then...
the Light told me "NOT TO WALK" but i did anyway.. heh. im
such a badass".. its actually pretty funny :)..
Sent in by: Tooool

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"JerkCity
- TCP/IP" ROFLMAO
Sent in by: Nattyboy

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March
20th
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Ugh,
going on 50hours without sleep.. god my life sucks.. all this for nothing
*Blah blah blah* anyway im sure i'll feel better tommorow.. ( <sarcasm>
ya, im sure </sarcasm> )
.Creator

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"Herald
Tribune - Pakistani man sentenced to death, then acid"
heh. serves this m0nutz right... k, this guy murder 100 kids.. so..
the judge sees it fitting to kill him like he killed the children..
heres some paste..
LAHORE, Pakistan - A court here sentenced a man to death
Thursday for the murder of 100 children, and the judge ordered that
he be strangled in front of the victims' parents, cut into pieces
and the pieces thrown into acid.
The judge ordered that the man, Javed Iqbal, 42, be executed in a
park in this eastern city by suffering the same fate as his victims.
''You will be strangled to death in front of the parents whose children
you killed,'' said Judge Allah Baksh Ranja in his sentence. ''Your
body will then be cut into a 100 pieces and put in acid the same way
you killed the children.''

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"MSNBC
- Hackavists plan Major DDOS attack" great.....
anyone ever play the old Online Door (old school BBS ASCII games) called
BRE? remember how you could send a Gooie Kablooie (only in multi-bbs
mode) to another BBS to assrape them?. well this is VERY similar.. but...
it apparently warns the site before the attack.. (i dont quite know
what the point is... like did the Japan tell the USA that they were
sending fighters to perl harbour? no.. `course not.. )..

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"Netpliance
- I-Opener" Get'em while their hot.. only $99bucks...
i feer.. also, see this Wired
article on the guy behind the I-Opener.

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"CNN
- Doctors reattach boys arm, bitten off by Tiger"
ok, wait.. im not even gonna ask why this kids uncle had a pet Bengal
tiger, or why this kid was allowed to stick his arm into the cage..
but more importantly.. it took 11hours to reattach it.. (if you recall
a couple weeks baq) some surgeons in like africa only took 8hours to
reattach a mans penis.... which do you think should have taken longer?
Penis? or Arm?... i would totally have to vote for the penis.. but oh
well, im prolly wrong..

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"CNN
- Stephen King writes eBiz Book" as if Stephen Kings
books didn't suck enough on paperbaq, they've oozed over onto the Internet..
Kill me..

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"The
Worlds Largest Gang-bang Thumbnails" k, well this
isn't the one that was broken shortly after newyears 2000, but this
is the one before it.. (still funny to check out).. but ya, look at
the pictures.. that is the sorriest (sorryest) collection of men i've
ever seen.. each of them has this "OH MAN, IM GONNA GET LAYED~!"
(that spelling mistake was made on purpose to show the general stupidity
of the m0's who participated).
Sent in by: _Ram

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"eBay
- An Empty Box" hehe. this has the most class for
a joke auction..
Local copy here
Sent in by: ^_ToXiC_^

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"Yahoo
- Irridium Satelites set to Burn up" this is cool,
k, this small cellular phone/telco place is going outta business, so
instead of selling all its assets, its going to "de-orbit"
all 66 of its orbiting satelites.. which should be cool since we should
be able to see them burn up in the atmosphere (presuming they trajectory
isnt' too steep).. anyway, its neat, read it. :).
Sent in by: Witz0r

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March
19th
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March
18th
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"WeeklyWorldNews
- PRETTY COED DIES IN WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" Shizzy..
what a way to go.. but hey, thats whatcha get when yer doing a "Wet
T-shirt" contest on a Cold Summer day, and use ice cold water.
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"MSNBC
- Spielberg's next film; Kubricks 'AI'" bleh.. well
i dunno what to think.. in my opinion (i always get flamed when i say
that) Eyes wide shut, could have easily been called "ass wide open"..
since it totally ate poo.. it sucked.. i can't believe that it was actually
done by Stanley Kubrick.. anyway, Steven Spielburg is picking up Kubricks
final work "AI" which was shelfed after he died.. ya, so we'll
have to see how this turns out...

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"Excite
- Swedish Leader doubles as Pr0n star" I would fall
over laughing if this happened in Canada.. and then i'd re-vote who
ever it was baq into office :). just too see what he would do next :)..

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"CNN
- Kenyan women protest drinking dens, they demand sex"
ghahahahahah.. heres some paste to go with the brewskies..
NAIROBI, Kenya (Reuters) -- A group of women stormed
a Kenyan police station to demand officers either make love to them
or close illegal drinking dens they said made their husbands impotent,
a local newspaper reported on Wednesday.
The People newspaper said the women, from Kandara, north of Nairobi,
brought business in the town to a halt with their day-long protest
against excessive drinking by their menfolk.
"Our men have turned to vegetables. They leave home early and come
back intoxicated. There is nobody to meet the sexual needs of wives,"
the newspaper quoted one woman as saying.

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"GA-Source
- New Matrix Action Figures" "new"???
i dunno.. i didn't realize that there were "old" action figures..
since our toy stores here in canada are fairly gay (all stuffed with
Pokemon tripe..) bleh. but ya, some of these are pretty feersome.. i'd
love to have the set.. (whenever they decide to go on sale in Canukia)..

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"Real
Mexican Sex Acts" alright, some of these are sick..
but i just can't stop laughing at the "Rodeo" one.. im not
gonna ruin the surprize with a paste, so go read it yerself..
Sent in by: Hee-la

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"98-Six
- The Skinny on summer" this is a pretty funny (but
real) article on the common phenomoun of "Man Boobs" and "Metabolism"
its actually really good..
Sent in by: nattyboy

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"How
to report an internet related crime" hehehe this
is actually a genuine site, check out the address... .gov... oh im not
kidding :) but what i dont get is.. the table (close to the bottom of
the page) could have been entirely cut out, and replaced with "IF
ANYONE BREAKS THE LAW CONTACT THE FBI".. since all of the "appropriate
agencies" are "FBI" bleh.. long story short, the government
is gay..
Sent in by: Sombrfire

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"Internet
- Kids, do's and donts" GHAHAHaHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHA,
i love the pictures... (course the site sucks) but take the "Get
your drivers license" test thingy.. thats where all the funniness
hides..
Sent in by: Iscariot

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March
17th
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March
16th
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"pi
The Movie" if you havn't seen this movie, go see
it, i caught it a couple weeks baq, and man.. it owned me.. not only
did the movie rock, but the soundtrack was mastered by Clint Mansell
(from PWEI). and uhm he even filmed it all himself.. i feer.. so ya,
it owns, go rent it.
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"ZDNet
- The JimmiCam" hehe, insert JennyCam wannabe :).
cept its not as "compelling" ie, you'll get bored of this
joke in just a couple minutes.. so go ahead, it wont waste much of your
time.. :).

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"CNN
- Europe fighting high gas prices" im glad to see
Canada isn't in this "listing of fuel prices".. lemme see..
we pay $0.76 a litre (for the shizzy 87 octane stuff) .. there are 4Litres
to a gallon.. 4 * .76 == $3.04 / gallon.. if canadians only knew how
badly we were getting ripped off when it came to gas prices..... oh
and for anyone who's counting.. that would put Canada 5th on that list..

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"Daily
Radar - McPeepshow" heh, i posted this image like
over a month ago.. but ya.. everyone else takes credit for it.. bleh..
anyway, its funny.. i like their write-up better then mine :).. so read..

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"ABCNews
- U.S Urges Dot-Coms to help Fight CyberCrime" im
just gonna paste some of this..
Online Neighborhood Watch
Daley said government and industry worked together on the Y2K problem.
“I think if companies can help nail hackers who threaten our networks,
it’s not just good for fighting crime, it’s good for the future of
e-commerce,” he said.
Businesses “can do for the Internet what neighbors do for each other
across the country, making communities safer by keeping an eye on
each other. I think they should share their experiences and technologies
with law enforcement,” he said.
“Businesses must step up their own efforts to make the Internet more
secure and not wait for cybercops to be expanded,” Daley said.
so basically, the Feds can't do their job so they wanna turn every business
owner into a "deputy" <insert dukes of hazard themesong here>

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"Who
Wants to be a President?" hehe, more fun with Shockwave
Sent in by: Flatline

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"SeattleTimes
- Spam suite tossed out" hahahahaha owned... Spammers
Beware~!
Sent in by: Witz

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"GodHatesFags
- Death Penatly(gif)" uhm more religious Zealotry,
but its funny, cuz it envolves Sodomy :)..
Local copy here
Sent in by: nattyboy

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March
15th
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"The
Bench - Community of Cartooning - Eat your own nutz"
uuuh. im sure someone out there will find this funny.....

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"ABCNews
- anti-milk ads draw fire" LOL, see yesterdays post
of "Beer vs. Milk" ROFL..
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"UserFriendly
- X-Box, Trust No One" heheh <insert x-box joke
here>

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"DoomLing
- a breakthrough in Palm OS Gaming" whoa~!. if i
had a palm pilot or some other palm system, this would be one of the
first things i would buy.. yup, you guessed it.. its Doom for you palm
top organizer.. and its even better then it sounds, cuz it has multiplayer
built in.. i imagine that it would use the IR stuff built in, (or maybe
the modem, but the modem would be gayer).. just imagine.. playing Doom
via yer IR port, inclass.. while doing some stupid bullshit exam or
assignment.. i feer..

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"I-Opener
with Linux" OMG, check this out.. its another one
of these "I-Boxes", ya, you remember, one of those boxes designed
specifically for net use.. cept this one is leet... check it out.. im
not gonna ruin the excellent hardware surprize in it.. (well, it doesn't
have a 3D accelerator card built in, but if it did, it would totally
own my nutz).. but ya, its actually a killer system :)..
Sent in by: Fr0glet

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"Post-Gazette
- Hazardous Chemicals removed from Bookline Appartment"
hehe, this guy sounds cool.. this guy was making Picric Acid in his
appartment.. this stuff i heavy, (i actually knew this stuff before
reading the article) but ya, the military uses it in Anti Tank Missiles
and Tank Ballistics.. this stuff is mean.. but ya, this guy was making
it.. and he had a shitload of it too.. makes ya wonder what he was going
to do with it.. i'll keep ya posted...
Sent in by: Pinkberry

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"StarDudes(flash
movie)" This is Very Cool.. its essentially the
entire Episode III movie, cut down to run about 5mins, but ya, its cool..
check it out.
Sent in by: Flatline

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