|
|
|
 omg.
i actually made it a whole day without having a drink (i think).. last
night was a bit of a blurrrrr, but i dont stink like booze nor do i
have a hangover, so i think im making some serious head-way in this
no boozy thing...creator  
|
| "Guardian
- US Buys up Iraqi Oil to Stave off Crisis"
uhm... uhm..... does anyone else see a problem with us giving the Iraqi's
more money?? isn't there some kind of trade sanctions being placed on
them so that other countries can't trade with them?? i dont get it...
|
| "CNN
- Teen Catapulted from car Onto Utility Wires" uh
no. god had nothing to do with this.. some idiot kid driving around
in a top heavy (high center of gravity) jeep, with a fiberglass top
and no seatbelt.. if god had something to do with this, he would have
killed this kid, cuz he's obviously indangering himself and others around
him..
|
| "Ananova
- Thieves Ignore Cash, but Steal Lego" uhm.
k theres something wrong with this world... when someone passes up cold
hard cash, for a childs lego set....
|
| "Channel3000
- Janesville Chihuahua Chokes on Taco Bell Toy"
Uhm i dont think this would be ironic.. but it certainly is funny..
|
| "The
Smoking Gun - Joe Millionaire Finalist Starred in Bondage Flicks"
hah ruled. Looks like we all have our own skeletons in the closet. cept
some are way more entertaining then others.. Sent in by: Brill
|
| "Microsoft
Hit Wizard - Create your own Song" *snicker* Sent in by: _Spectre_
|
| "The
Register - Want to Admin Your own .MIL Website?"
heh, DoD sucks... but this is hilarious. also see DoD
Locator. oh hah and also see DoD
Page Statistics. Sent in by: Perlandra
|
|
| hrmm....
well, im still drunk.. but atleast im not as drunk as i was yesterday..
things could be looking up.. although, i dont think i've eaten a 2 days..
hrmm... .creator
|
| "CNN
- KaZaa Fights Back, Files Counter Suit" kazaa
sucks, this makes no sense... "we know we're providing a resource
that is being used to break the law, but we think that law sucks..."
|
| "Excite
- Spy Photos Reveal Ancient Road Network" heh,
and just think, these ancient paths will probably be destroyed by laser
guided missiles as they scream down towards iraqi tanks and missile
bunkers.
|
| "MSNBC
- Breaking down the .net Barriers" uh. wow,
this is so uh last year.. you can run Unix with Bind, Send mail and
x400 directory services, and have MS Outlook connect to it just like
it was a bonified exchange server.. this is nothing new... now if they
could make lotus notes not suck terribly, that would be something to
put in the news...
|
| "The
Tard Blog" Oh my god... k, first, i havn't
had time to read through this whole thing yet... but from what i've
seen this is HILARIOUS! its like the reality that no one outside of
the 'tard kingdom' sees. i love the pics too, very nice touch to the
updates heh. Sent in by: IvanBeast
|
| "FoxNews
- Scout Camp Blasted for Staging Game in Which 'Nazis' Chased 'Jews'"
ROFL, maybe they were just reinacting some historical chase or something..
after all theres war reinactments all the time, people dressing up like
yankee's and brits and going it at like it was the 1800s.. Not that
i condone what the Nazis did, and the fact that these kids were wearing
the 'star of david' is kinda over the limit too.. well, actually now
that all the pieces have fallen, this shit is over the line.... Sent in by: The Great Godom
|
| "CNet
- The New Jailbird Jingle" k, until i see the
first prosecution, i wouldn't even worry about swapping files on kazaa... Sent in by: Perlandra
|
|
| Ugh...
Drunk again.... Good news is. i didn't drink as much as i usually would..
heh. so i think this is getting better.. .creator
|
| "Kasparov
Defeats 'Deep Junior' in First Game" YES!~
IBM IS GOING DOWN!! See now this is how you do a world class challenge,
best of 6 Games. none of this pussy 1 game superbowl shit. I still dont
see how the superbowl champion is the 'football champion of the world'.
i'm willing to bet theres some war hardened ugandians out there who
would complete box florida out of their championship rings, and make
them run like a bunch of scared schoolgirls... mmmmm schoolgirls....
|
| "Wired
- Teen's Web Browser Wows Top Geeks" Whoa!~
now this sounds like some feersome shizz, i'll have to grab it and try
it out on my tester laptop. cuz it if has all the stuff that it claims
its gonna rock my world...
|
| "eBay
- Bowling Ball Seeds, Grow Your Own" *snicker*
|
| "Ananova
- Smallest Police Dog is 22cm Tall" *snicker*
oh i'd feer this pup.. but i guess having a small police dog would be
cool, cuz you could fit more of them in a police car. like image having
30 dogs in the back of cruiser, and having the cop swinging open the
door, and having a huge furry swarm come charging at a villian.. Now
that would rule...
|
| "Wired
- Testing the First AIDS Vaccine" uh.. uhhh..
wow. i had no idea there was a vaccine this deep into testing. truely
feerful i wonder if this VaxGen has an IPO yet, cuz if this shit isn't
a placebo, then it could be the best thing since condoms... Sent in by: Servo
|
| "Boners
- Speed Hump, Call for Details" heh, I wish
i had a speed hump in my neighbourhood.. cuz it would clearly make it
not suck.... Sent in by: Treaps
|
|
| God
damnit.. drunk again.. ugh... .creator
|
| "CNN
- Computer Worm Grounds Flights, Blocks ATMs" Thank
you shitty system admins, and network security specialists. all i can
say is, if you fags would have patched your faggy ass SQL servers, or
had your lame ass Network admins move the SQL servers out of the fucken
DMZ this never would have happened.. and because of this, i couldn't
pay for gas with my debt card yesterday... i had to use *gasp* CASH..
|
| "Ananova
- Indian Wrestler Rejected for Police Job Due to Abnormal Ears"
yeah, its called 'califlower ear' its what happens when people pound
on your ears for an extended duration. thing is. it doesn't really affect
how well you can hear, it just makes your ears look retarted..
|
| "eBay
- Delorean Special Edition DMC-12" oh god.
why would people do this to a perfectly good delorean.. Honestly Deloreans
have to be one of my favorite chevy's (john delorean was GM of Chevy
for like 4 years before designing the Delorean). Its too bad it was
cut up for Back to the Future, cuz now every fag has to put rope lights
on them and pretend to be christopher lloyd.
|
| "MSNBC
- Kasparov Takes on Computer Again" i seriously
hope Kasparov kicks IBM's ass...
|
| "Political
Strikes - Bush Beastiality" heh, needs more
photoshop Sent in by: Perlandra
|
| "Boners
- GhettoBall" *snicker* Sent in by: Schrieks
|
|
| "MSNBC
- Scientists Show How to make a UFO" well,
i will admit, that pic is pretty tasty for the UFO Community, but yeah,
you can't expect that any photo NASA would release would have an actual
UFO in it.. I know that NASA filters out all 'unknown object' pictures
from public eyes..
|
| "Yahoo
- McDonalds Obessity Suit Dropped" Heres a
followup to those pudgy teenagers who thought they could blame their
own hunger for grease on MickeyDee's
|
| "eBay
- New Invention Allows Humans to Live Forever" oh
god.. more magnet faggotry. k. this whole 'magnets can heal the body'
and shit is complete crap. And the only reasonable thing i can think
of why this MIGHT work, is the fact that we have large amounts of IRON
in our blood.. But.. Its fused with our red blood cells, so it looses
all magnetic properties (and thus is unaffected by magnets). Now I know
for a fact, that when i mention Magnets and anything to do with science,
i'll get a 'correction' email the following day. But im pretty sure
about this one :)
|
| "Ananova
- Under-nine Footballs Team's Logo is 'Violent and Offensive'"
dumbest shit ever... Football is a violent game, why shouldn't the logo
reflect that? I'm tired of this 'pussyfication' of our current society.
Seriously, we shouldn't be concerned about everyone elses 'feelings',
cuz nothing will ever get done. Infact the only thing thats completely
not pussyfied is G.W. Bush, cept he's completely misdirected in his
efforts. <GWB> HEY LETS START A WAR SINCE OUR ECONOMY SUCKS, AND
SINCE WE CANT FIND OSAMA LETS PICK ON A BIGGER DICTATOR FOR NO REASON..
(seriously, think about all the nice things Saddam has done........)
|
| "BrickFrenzy
- Lord Vaders Weapon" more lego 'cartoons'.
Seriously there are very few things funnier then lego cartoons. especially
ones done so well. Sent in by: Dromio
|
| "The
Alternative Swedish Dictionary" *Snicker* Sent in by: Xtal
|
| "Acme
License Maker" YEH Make your own license plate..
too bad this sux~ heh.. the best i can think of, is sending "IAMGAY"
to people heh. Sent in by: Beavnuts
|
|
| Alright.
i dont know what it is.. im drunk again...... I really need either stronger
will (although, i think thats part of the problem, i have a strong will
to drink) or i need to stop going to bars/clubs.. ugh... .creator
|
| "Masturbate
for Peace.com" ROFLMAO~ although you may also
want to read the 'Masturbation
Horror.com' cuz you know some people out there are dumb enough
to fuck up the art of spanking it....
|
| "SFGate
- Arafat Message to Osama Bin Laden: Leave Palestinian Issues Alone"
hahah! We all know the whole world listens to Arafat.... And i can't
see Osama giving up a working army of millions who are literally at
his finger tips, and willing to fight anything. (mindless mobs rule)
GO PALESTINE
|
| "Weebl
and Bob - Final Fantasy 7 Spoof" hah! I never
did understand the whole thing with the Final Fantasy Series.. I love
Final Fantasy Adventure (I, II, III) for gameboy, cuz they actually
had a good story and wicked engrish.Yet 7-forward, all it had was good
graphics, pretty colors and uh yeh, guys with funny boxy hair...
|
| "Something
Awful - Virtual Computer Pussy" you know what
the scary part is... the handle on the back of this computer.. its almost
like someone actually put a vagina on their PC, then realized after
many hours of ramming, it would be more efficient if there was a handle
on the case so that it wouldn't slide around.. PUSSY PC VERSION 2... Sent in by: mkow
|
| "Uncle
Melon - How to Use the Vagina" *snicker* this
is the best shit i've ever seen illustrated in my whole life... Sent in by: Servo
|
| "TheStar
- Americans Fire Back Over Column" OMG, Americans
Making Fun of Canadians and attemping to belittle us.. Check it out.. Sent in by: Doom^
|
|
| alright,
i think i need to lighten up on the booze, i havn't been on a bender
this long since new years... err. wait.. thats was like 4weeks ago...
does this mean im an alcoholic?? heh..SUX .creator
|
| "CNN
Money - Vice City Tops Movie Industry" uh,
yes.. theres a simple explaination for this too.. Vice City rules...
|
| "ZDNet
- 2003 Forecast, Linux will eat Unix" uh, i
<3 unix.. but i seriously doubt that linux will destroy unix, since
unix can run everything linux can, and more. i dont have any faith in
these forecasts, they've never been correct in the past.
|
| "TokyoDV
- Japan Fertility Festival" *snicker*
|
| "Asskey.gif"
mmm ascii art.. Sent in by: _Spectre_
|
| "KittyPlay.mpeg"
heh, k this prolly isn't work safe (But its border line safe) i just
dont know what to say.. a cat masturbating... i'm at a loss for words.. Sent in by: Xian
|
| "eBay
- Nissan Sentra, With Custom Body Kit" did
i post this already? it doesn't matter, this is awesome..! Sent in by: Usteppin
|
|
| "CNN
- Copied Cat Hardly Resembles Original" hehe,
heres a followup to the cloning links i've been posting and shizz. but
still, i dont see why anyone would wanna clone a cat, especially if
they wont look or act like their originals did. it would be way cheaper
just to get an offspring from another related litter...
|
| "Ananova
- Man Wins Jackpot Twice on Same Machine" heh.
i think someone should retire that machine, cuz those odds are fucked...
|
| "MSNBC
- ISP Ordered to Identify Kazaa User" Wow,
nothing like the RIAA cracking down on people enjoying music.. talk
about attacking your customer base.. this just makes me want to burn
more audio cds and give them to random people on the streets...
|
| "Excite
- Police Not Amused by Drunk Driver's Smiley"
hah rules. talk about a serious security breach.. those lame ass french
cops can't lock down their pc's properly.. serves them right..
|
| "Don't
be a Llama, Buy a Dell" *snicker* Sent in by: |TchorT|
|
| "Cuss
Control Academy" hah! i noticed this the other
day (that i swear way too much). I'm like a drunken sailor who just
stepped on a nail.. but aslong as im contributing to the downfall of
society, it can't be all that bad.. Sent in by: Perlandra
|
| "Ananova
- Plastic Reindeer Has 'Testicles' Removed After Complaints"
rofl... Sent in by: EN
|
|
| "CNN
- San Francisco Bans Segway" hah! even the
homosexuality capitol of North America realizes that the Segway is too
gay for them...
|
| "eBay
- Lifesize Orc (Warcraft Statue)" heh now this
would be cool to have as a lawn orniment.. too bad its in the UK.. :(
|
| "BBCNews
- Oldest Star Chart Found" wtf. theres no evidence
that this is a star chart... the only correlation is that, the man scribed
onto the ivory slate 'looks' like orion... there is no markings of stars,
(ie, the belt, feet, arms, sword) on the scribe. hell, this could just
be a drawing of mr. cavemans best friend, and may not have anything
to do with the stars.. also the notches, i doubt they have any relation
to the gestation period of human females. it could just be the preverbial
"notches" in a mans headboard.. i smell bullshit.... |
| "Ananova
- Man Refuses to Leave Porn Cinema After Gaffe"
lol, nothing like getting drunk and passing out in a nudie cinema, then
getting locked in, and having a whole city watch you (knowing that you
got drunk, and passed out watching a porno) heh. sux to be this guy...
atleast it was straight porn, it could have been alot worse....
|
| "WSJ
News - Fans Howl in Protest as Judge Decides X-Men aren't Human"
rofl.. Sent in by: mkow
|
| "Fly
UI" hehe, i've heard stories of these.. 'targets'
put in urinals to promote 'aiming' while peeing, instead of the relaxed
swaying back and forth that we men normall exhibit.. heh. pretty cool
idea.. Sent in by: Perlandra
|
| "Ananova
- Penis Explodes During Sex" UH... UUHHHH.... Sent in by: _Spectre_
|
|
| "eBay
- Kevin Mitnick's Stuff" oh god. whats next..
"Kevin Mitnick touched this computer, buy it now for 4000$".
Also, looks
like kevin is free now too use any computar he wants
|
| "Excite
- Naked-Air Boasts All-Nude Miami-Cancun Flight"
one question.... Why? and do they hose down the seats, or atleast bust
out the steal wool to get the 'funk' off the upholstery?
|
| "Ananova
- Fire Crew Rescues Woman Trapped in Cuffs"
heh, k this story sucks. i thought it was gonna be all about a couple
who's into S&M and shit, and they were fooling around, and the guy
handcuffed the girl, and somehow the house caught on fire. and the fire
crew had to cut the cuffs off her before she died of smoke inhalation.
but no. its some pussy story about some lame ass shop that had a girl
get stuck in a set of cuffs.. LAME..
|
| "MNE
- Moby Attacked in Boston" moby is such a pansy...
(but he does make some good music...)
|
| "Handy
Boutique - Buildings of Disasters" awesome!
These little building would make incredible paper wieghts, or tiny little
desk monuments.. if you had a bunch of these on your desk at work, people
would definatly think you were crazy :) Sent in by: Perlandra
|
| "eHowa
- Deer on Bike" rofl~ Deer are not light creatures.... Sent in by: |TchorT|
|
| "Wired
- Canadians Burned by Blank-CD Levy" Uhhh..
Yeh... The canadian government seems to try to do this every 5 years
or so. I remember last time this happened, people ran out and bought
skid loads of CDr's (hell, i bought like 300 blanks) and on the deadline
where the fresh new tax was to be imposed, nothing happened... CD's
were still cheap... and in great quantity.. so i dunno how much water
this article holds.. Sent in by: Kaveh (aka jeff)
|