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April
21st
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Awww
Yeh! this past week or so have been by far some of the best consecutive
days i've ever had (my last record was 18 of the best consecutive days,
i'm only upto about 12 now, so we'll see how long this lasts). Now,
to get off the coffee, and back onto the booze.
.cre

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"Startribune
- Injured Big-Game Hunter Takes Aim at Bullet Manufacturer"
uh, why do people still 'big-game-hunt' ? i thought this shit was outlawed
ages ago. like back in the 30s? frankly all these multi-millionaire
tiger killing assholes need to be 'taken-out-the-back-and-beaten'

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"BBCNews
- Reality Intrudes into Gaming" Oh god, this
is gayest thing ever. Thank god microsoft spent all the time developing
this.

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"CNN
- Private Manned Spacecraft Program unveiled"
ha! routine spaceflight at low cost.. yeah, thats what they said about
columbia... we'll have to see if this actually flies or not...

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"Snopes
- Time Traveling Inside Trader" heh, heres
the sober followup to that article i posted ages ago, with the 'time
traveller' who made 350million in 2 weeks or some shit. heh.
Sent in by: mkow

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"GirlFriend
Stealer's Homepage" hah! This is awesome. i
can't tell you how many girlfriends i've stolen from other people, its
the best shit ever. Nothing can raise your spirits (and ego), like stealing
a hot chick from some rich/artsy/superfag. Its almost too bad that the
"advice from a girl" has direct instructions from Trent Reznor..
Trent is far from a lady killer, if anything, he's so misognistic.
Sent in by: _Spectre_

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"OCRegister
- Fullerton Suspends Four Police Officers"
rofl. now this is classy. but all i can say is.. "I'd prolly do
the exact same thing", serious. if i was a cop, i'd be busting
all the rules.. upholding the law would only be fun for like the first
6months, then i'd be all about making my own rules, and enforcing them.
I'd be the roadwarrior of the 21century..
Sent in by: Insaney

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April
20th
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April
19th
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ugh,
so sick. i went out and got completely hammered, and i ordered a Rye
and Ginger, and i some how got a gin and tonic, its making me feel so
ill.. ugh...
.cre

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"eBay
- H.A.L.E.S. Compressor" uh yeah, this ounds
bad ass, but i smell snake oil... if something sounds too good to be
true, chances are it is....

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"MSNBC
- Saying 'No Thanks' to the Internet" Seriously.
some days i just wanna unplug my cable modem.. but then i remember the
copious amounts of porn that wait for me on the other side of that cable
modem... its so hard to resist...

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"ABCNews
- Unemployed Man Files for $1.5M Tax Refund"
ghah, i never thought about doing this.. even though it is fraud heh..

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"STFU
NOOB" *snicker* i swear, i gotta make crap
like this my background at work. not that anyone would see it, with
my 10 terminal sessions infront of it. Sent
in by: Matt F.

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"The
Photographs Tell the Story" interesting.. it
certianly wouldn't be the first time the media has lied to us.....
Sent in by: Brill

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"Google
- Pourne Identity" YES! Sent
in by: mkow

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April
18th
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"MSNBC
- Teenager Blinded by 'Toy' Gun" Clearly this
was caused by misuse. who the hell puts a frog in a potato gun, then
when it does fire, inspects the barrel without removing the frog projectile..
anyone who looks blindly down the barrel of a frog cannot deserves to
have it discharged onto his face...

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"Wired
- Road Race Pits Fast and Flirty" serious.
i'm gonna have to do a donation pool next year, to see if my readers
(you guys) are willing to pony up some cash for me to participate in
the gumball. im seriously jealous of these speed freaks..

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"CNN
- Worlds Tallest Towers Proposed for WTC Site"
Tempting fate.. I love to tempt fate.. the feeling of impending doom
rules.

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"Ananova
- Cat survives 20 Miles Under the Bonnet" heh
crazy cats.....

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"The
XXX-Rated Bible" mmm sacreligious..
Sent in by: SousHomme

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"The
Star - Australian Seeks $1M After Kangaroo's Death"
when i first read the title of this article, i was like "eh, wtf?
no one is allowed to keep a domestic animal as a pet (aussies cant have
koala's or kangaroo's as pets). But yeah, think about it, if this animal
was "protected" you'd think they'd take better care of it,
when its in gov't protection :)
Sent in by: `Nemesis

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"ABCNews
- 2 Texans Charged in Shuttle Debris Theft"
what kind of redneck hick would steal parts of a blown up shuttle? seriously,
it would be cool to have a few bits to hold on to, but what could you
possibly do with it? put it on display on your mantle? who would you
show? everyone would turn you in... i guess i just wont understand these
rednecks..
Sent in by: robs

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April
17th
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"Excite
- Farmers Put Live Chickens in Wood Chippers"
hah AWESOME, i would have loved to have seen this. i dunno if i'd be
horrified or hilarified. I dont think many other people can say that
they've seen 30,000 chickens turned into a slurry of feathers and blood
before. clearly this would be a once in a lifetime event.
UPDATE: Also see the Yahoo
version of this story (Sent in by: FreshEveryTime)

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"Ananova
- Masturbate-a-thon Set for Live Webcast" hah!
this sounds like such a scam. "Give me money so i can beat off.."
take special note of what prizes will be awarded for..
Those taking part must be 18 and over, and prizes will
be awarded for most money raised, among other achievements.
i wonder what the 'other achievements' may be?? distance? amount? density?
viscosity? speed? i could go on....

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"Penny-Arcade
- Tart as a Double Entendre" hah, if this were
only true, i'd play it all day.. theres something so right about a girl
dressed as strawberry shortcake with a riding crop.

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"CNN
- Solar Cells Less Pricey, More Efficient"
god, all this green power shit sounds good in theory, but on paper and
in practice its the stupidest idea ever. Toronto just put in a Wind
Trap (generator) near the lake, it cost the city/tax payers millions
and millions of dollars, and it only generates a tiny amount of energy,
infact i was driving by it last night, and the fucken thing wasn't even
moving. what a waste...

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"HomeStarRunner
- 404 Doodoo Error" heh, more fun with 404
errors.
Sent in by: lmac

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"GuerrillaNews
- Fox in History" *snicker* i love the cameo
by Sonic and Tails :)
Sent in by: Brill

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"Scientific
America - Parallel Universes" Holy crapballs,
this is a HUGE article, 10 pages, i read through the first page and
its pretty rad (For those of us science nuts out there). i'll have to
smurf through the rest of it at work today heh..
Sent in by: mkow

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April
16th
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"Excite
- Masked Wrestler Wins Japan Assembly Seat"
YES! THE GREAT SASUKE! why can't the canadian political system have
guys like this in it? I'd love to have a pro-wrestler as my elected
official, knowing very well, that if any old political mothball was
slacking around him, that he'd pick him up, do a double suplex on him,
then pin him for a 10 count. this would change the political system
in canada forever (for the better atleast).

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"CNN
- Moon Landing Note Book Fetches $220,000"
now this would be an awesome coffee table piece. ofcourse it would be
total fodder for 'coffee cup rings' (victims of lazy people who cant
find coasters) heh. but still, i dont know why people dont scan shizz
like this up, and post it on the net for everyone to enjoy (even a low
res scan would be cool, just to make sure the original held its value).
i'd love to see what buzz was doodling while the space ship columbia
took off in 1969 :)

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"Jerkcity
- Flap flap flap my gash" ROFL

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"Ananova
- Cocaine Found in Ambulance" uh, i've never
seen a cop pulling over an ambulance for a busted light. this sounds
fairly suspect to me.. but ofcourse, i imagine the legal/policing system
is a fair bit different in Peru. heh. Dont they still havin caning down
there?

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"Howto
Properly Fold a Cat For Storage in a Sweater Drawer"
YES!
Sent in by: Brill

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"BBCNews
- Puppy's Astonishing Knife Tale" hehe, i once
saw my dog eat 8ft of cotton twine. i thought it would kill him, but
nope. he was as playful and happy as ever (until he passed said string),
which was a truely disgusting feet. but yeah, dogs will eat anything.
Sent in by: Kayvan

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"TheOnion
- Don't Come Crying to Me When You Need Someone Who Speaks Elvish"
*snicker*
Sent in by: _Spectre_

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April
15th
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