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August
31st
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"BBCnews
- Tapes Rekindle Horror of 9/11" Welp, i wouldn't
mind hearing these tapes, especially the firefighters tapes. i'll wait
for .mp3's to be leaked.

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"Ananova
- Policewoman Suspended Over Prisoners Sex Request"
lol, i dont know if that was the smartest idea for that bank robber,
to file a request for sexual visits from a prison guard heh. anyway,
i still believe that prisoners should lose all rights assoon as they
are incarcerated. This whole bit about being able to watch tv, and have
conjigual visits and stuff shouldn't be allowed. Prisoners should be
forced to assemble childrens toys, or sew plush animals (something soothing,
that wont give them any access to pointy metal objects).

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"Mac.com
- Video Music Awards, Britney and Madonna Kiss"
i know every pre-pubescent male out there just jizz they're pants..
but britney needs to kiss more girls.. like maybe she should do a 24hour
photo shoot with Shakira or something, where all they do is make out.

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"CNN
- Rush Hour Power Cut Hits London" hah, i'm
surprized the British didnt try to blame this on canada. But wait..
the UK gets their power from the french.. Hrmm. Maybe the powergrid
just surrendered? heh

|
"Ananova
- Russian Rafters Use Rubber Sex Dolls" lol,
this kinda thing makes me proud of my slavic heritage, cuz this is something
i'd totally do hehe
Sent in by: _Spectre_

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"Drudge
Report -- Security Agents in Bangkok" awesome,
drudge report rules.
Sent in by: mkow

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"AJCNews
- Intruder Fatally Injured During Home Burglary"
rofl, file this one under 'the book of duh' -- "Dont use head to
break window, can cause damage to vital arteries.
Sent in by: mkow

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August
30th
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"Newspaper
Asia1 - In Just 5 Seconds, He Slashed Throats" ha!
read this article, this couldn't have been described any better, i swear
i can see it happening in my mind, directing it if you will, my only
question is, was this like a box cutter, or a single blade-arm paper
cutter, cuz when im imagining it, its the single blade-arm off a paper
cutter, and he just casually starts cuttin' people with it, almost like
a ballet, with blood..

|
"Mac
Editor - Using a Mac" rofl. this is awesome."The
File is Fucking Gone!".. (did i post this already?)

|
"CNN
- Study: Female Gamers Outnumber Boys" uhh
yeh, what they dont tell you is, these gamer-girls are NOT SEXY, and
often look like the fonz' from happy days. "Eehhh.." if these
girls were like super hot models looking for geeky guys with big wangs,
i'd be all over the gaming industry playing games and shizz, but alas,
not this year...
  |
"HubbleSite
- Scientist Track 'Perfect Storm' on Mars"
uhm look at those "HI-RES" photos. they seem like 320x200
gifs that were stretched to like 1600x1200. Im not that impressed....

|
"Blogjam
- Neil Armstrong - The Truth" *snicker* sound
is required for this one, if you dont have sound you wont get it :)
but yeah, serious. if i was on the moon, i'd have a mouth of a sailor.
Sent in by: WildAl

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"PCT
Online - Cockroaches Hamper Woman's Attempt at Record Domino Topple"
owned. k if you have cockroaches in your convention
centre, shouldnt you be focusing your efforts on getting rid of the
infernal bugs, instead of trying to harbour idiots who are attempting
to beat some stupid ass world record for Dominos? But yeah 13hour days,
make me a shit-ton of money, whereas this girl just has a bunch of toppled
dominos heh.
Sent in by: Steve M.

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"The
Register - PS2 Nuts Play GetAway for Real"
ha! awesome!
Sent in by: Perlandra

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August
29th
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|
"GlobeTechnology
- Netgear Flaw Triggers 'Accidental' Attack" You'd
think that netgear would use a series of Time Servers in thier router
products, or you'd think that they'd put a timer or something on the
aux. requests for time :) ah well, it only takes once to screw up before
you see how things *should* be done.

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"Ananova
- Man Torches Car After Failing Driving Test" ghah,
I THOUGHT THE CAR WAS LAUGHING AT ME haha

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"CNN
- DNA Free's Man After 17 Years in Prison" Man
i'd be so pissed. I dont think any 'apology' would end my hatred for
the white man (if i was him). "HAY DOOD, WE MESSED UP, SORRY..."
i'd be all about stabbing those law twisting bastards...

|
"Guardian
- Scientists Discover Secret that Keeps French Slim: Eat Less of Everything"
Whoa! who's paying these scientists. cuz i could have told these people
the exact same thing (thanks to common sense) and only charged 1/2 of
what these scientists did..

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"Netscape
News - THIS is in the Dictionary" ha! i egosurf
once a month, to see if anyone is making nasty websites about me :)
Sent in by: pr0phnizt

|
"The
Globe and Mail - No Smiling, We're Canadian" *snicker*
yeah no more smiling in those passport photos. which is too bad, cuz
i was gonna do one of the "Steve-o, double gun smiles" on
my next passport photo (which is expired now :()
Sent in by: Wolf-

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"ABCLocal
- Birthday Party Accused of Stripping for Boys"
omg, this didnt actually happen, this has to be a joke or something.
Go-cart track was all rented, so she drove to a hotel, and gave the
kids beer, while she did a strip tease and had them spank her... Seriously,
the kid let this go on??? i'd be like "Mom, *smack* What on earth
were you thinking.... Now go order us some pizza..." instead of
like "Mom, heres a Dollar bill, rub your snatch on my friends face...."
Sent in by: b00

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August
28th
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|
"PopularScience
- Incoming!" heh, this starts getting really
interesting after the first page. check it out, its a surprizingly good
read (atleast, it was interesting).

|
"Cnet
- Tiny Hitachi Drive Hits 4GB" wheeee. huge
storage wrapped in a small case. but this stuff needs to be cheaper,
im not gonna spend .50$usd per meg on tiny storage, when i can pay 1$cad
per gig for regular storage.

|
"Ananova
- Canada's Big Hug Record Attempt Falls Flat"
ghah!, This just goes to show you, that Newfoundland can't even break
an easy record like "Biggest Hug".

|
"ModTown
- Maxtor DiamondMax Plus 9 380GB SATA Raid-0"
Alright, i dont normally post hardware reviews, but this is pretty leet,
First, its the first article on any full production Serial-ATA (next
generation IDE/ATA) drive that i've seen, aswell as the first SATA RAID
article/review i've seen, plus it sounds completely badass, too bad
im still in love with scsi.

|
"eBay
- Wierd Gross Bra, That Fell Out of My Ceiling" *snicker*
Sent in by: _Spectre_

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"CNN
- 12-year-old Begins Medical School" "I
MAY NOT KNOW WHAT A VAGINA LOOKS LIKE NOW, BUT I WILL SOON"..
Sent in by: Pyber

|
"Business
Journal - Taxing Computer Connections?" uh
yeah, i bet this will fly as well as the 'email postal tax' that was
supposed to go through 5 years ago...
Sent in by: Wolf-

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August
27th
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|
"BBCNews
- Sobig Virus 'Thwarted'"
Chinese web security firm, Beijing Rising Technology,
said on Friday the Sobig F Worm had infected 30% of all e-mail users
in the country.
wow, china sucks at network security...

|
"Yahoo
Comics - Foxtrot - Hacking CNN" *snicker*

|
"CNN
- Thai Ban for 'Big Flabby Buttocks'" hah!
so Thailand bans songs that promote promiscuity, yet, they dont close
down the child-whore houses... "HAY DOODS HAVING SEX WITH A 12YEAR
OLD GIRL IS OK, BUT DONT LISTEN TO EMINEM OK?"

|
"NewScientist
- Robot Spy Can Survive Battlefield Damage" hrmm
snakebox eh... Havn't heard this one yet.. but the idea of a software
being able to evaluate failure and modify the way it 'thinks' is pretty
neat. but i can't see how these snake robots could possibly be faster
then a wheeled/tracked counterpart.

|
"Washington
Post - Microsoft Weighs Automatic Security Updates as Default"
warning, registration required (not much, just d.o.b. and zip), anyway,
its about time MS steps forward and says "Hay, automagic updates
are nice, here they are for you, just click 'install'". I'm just
curious what kinda strain this will put on their windowsupdate servers/network
heh.
Sent in by: mkow

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"CNN
- MTV Awards Favorite: Johnny Cash" Everytime
i see this, it nearly brings a tear to my eye, Johnny Cash is one of
the greatest men who ever lived. and Mark Romanek couldn't have done
a better job with the video.
Sent in by: Servo

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"Bedlam.ru
- Titanics True Story (in russian)" heh anyone
else sense some anti-linux propaghanda, and the anti-american propaghanda?
heh. Oh and to translate the sign that the Penguin holds into to english,
it says "No Penguins in the Arctic Zone". NO LINUX PLZ heh
Sent in by: |TchorT|

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|
August
26th
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|
"Ananova
- Sheep Sells for Record 128,000" Durrr.. for
a sheep... all i can say is, that sheep better look like jenna jameson
or something, cuz a thats alotta coin for a ewe.

|
"CNN
- Whale Leaps Aboard Sailing Boat" Whoa, i've
never heard of this before, i wonder if its mating season or something
for whales....

|
"Battlefield
1982 - Interstate" Oh my christ, Interstate
76 was the best game of its time, I played it for WEEKS when it came
out, the multiplayer action was unchallenged, nothing could beat putting
4 Cherub launchers on a '72 Manta (corvette) and blasting the crap out
of other chimps in big rigs and gremlins heh.

|
"Wired
- Genetic Tests In Your Bedroom" Whoa, using
a CDROM laser to analyze dna and shizz. seriously, these kids who mess
around with all these shoestrings and bandaid devices rule.

|
"OCWeekly
- When you Wish Upon a Scar" OMG LOL the source
for all happiness in n.america targeted by goths, now thats funny.
Sent in by: |TchorT|

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"BBCNews
- The Hidden Dangers of Documents" heh, yeh
this isn't microsofts fault, how people use their software. If it was,
they could be blamed for just about everything. "Software piracy
is microsofts fault, since all these people who steal software, run
their operating system."
Sent in by: mkow

|
"Pie
in a Jar.com" OMG PIE IN A JAR~ Ready to eat..
thats awesome. i wonder if they'd ship to canada
Sent in by: Servo

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|
August
25th
|
|
"CNN
- Tampa's Crowd-Scanning Software Misses Crooks" heh,
good too hear that this big brother software has done a complete belly
flop, and here i was worried that this would be a total success and
soon all cities would have camera's scanning the faces of people as
they run errands and walk on the sidewalks, Screw you Identix!

|
"Excite
- Woman Hurt as Cellphone Bursts into Flames" Nokia's
rule. hey wait, i have an aftermarket battery on my nokia.. i wonder
if i can turn this thing into a bomb or something. you know, Throw it
at someone, then when they pick it up to steal it, and try to power
it on it would explode and stuff.

|
"eWeek
- IBM Tests Grid With Games" yup, this is some
bad ass shizz, i was reading some redbooks/white papers on Grid networks
from IBM, and i must say,if i could get into that shizz i'd be set for
life, cuz i can honestly see grid based networks hitting the computer/server
scene hard.

|
"Wired
- Feds Want to Track the Homeless" yeah i bet
they all watched Terminator III and realized that it is possible for
someone to 'disappear'. But im all for shoving GPS sending units up
the asses of the homeless. maybe that would be a threat enough to make
them get a job or something. "Clean up your act, or we'll insert
this popcan sized GPS sender into your ass, and track your whereabouts
at all times..."

|
"TorontoStar
- Crime Left Bandits Breathless" thats why
you dont demand the money to be put in a bag. bring a brief case, and
say "fill'er up", that way you can see all the money in there,
and they cant hide a paintbomb in there. But yeah, also dont hold up
a bank, if you have respritory problems. you prolly wont succeed.
Sent in by: _Psychic_

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"Reuters
- Canada Arrests 19 in Case with Sept 11 Parallels"
i dont get it, how stupid can these people be? *knocking on pickering
nuclear power plants door* "hay guys, can you let us in, so we
can walk along the beaches?". that has to be the dumbest thing
i've ever heard. that would be like, doing the presidential tour in
the whitehouse, and hoping to be able to attack the president.
Sent in by: `Nemesis

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"CDFreaks
- Movie Company Blames Instant Messaging for Box Office Flops"
ghah! i love the attitude of the Movie Industry "Just because we
make shitty movies, doesnt mean the audience should warn the whole world
about them, Come on, we're a bunch of greedy money grubbing bitches,
give us your hard earned dollars inexchange for our shitty movies; it
seems fair to us."
Sent in by: |TchortT|

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|
August
24th
|
|
"Ananova
- Plant Grows 40ft in Three Months" Anyone
see Little house of horrors? I cant wait for this plant to grow a huge
venus-fly-trap style mouth, and start devouring people :)

|
"The
Register - Slammer Worm Crashed Ohio Nuke Planet Net"
ha! go network security!

|
"WideView
Software" I've seen this image before, but
i always thought it was just 1 machine running a few quad display PCI
cards. but it seems much leeter now..

|
"Cnet
- MSN Messenger Upgrade, Blocks Trillian" aww
crap. Looks like trillian has a few weeks to figure out a way around
this upgrade :(. I hate MSN's clients its total bloatware. Plus, i've
seen the new beta client, and its mad-unstable, i dont need a microsoft
application crashing my microsoft OS all day :(

|
"Yahoo
- Anna Promoting Bra's" this picture.... *snicker*
i just dont know what to say...
Sent in by: Servo

|
"MTV
- Wesley Willis Schizophrenic Street Singer, Dies"
RIP Wesley :( the only thing i can hope for is that more people understand
your music in death, then in life.
Sent in by: Brill and _Spectre_

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"NewScientist
- First Game-Playing DNA Computer Revealed" heh,
a small step for DNA computing, one giant leap for gamers worldwide.
Sent in by: mkow

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August
23rd
|
|
"MSNBC
- What Lies Beneath" ROFL i've never seen an
article with such a 'tongue-in-cheek' tone coming from MSNBC, I can't
believe they actually published this, its actually funny. But yeah,
Who in their right mind would be thinking "Hey if i buy that metal
detector on that commercial, i'll find all sorts of gold coins and artifacts..
Seriously, You'd be lucky to find the change in your couch with that
thing..

|
"Ananova
- Eight Lawyers Bitten in Court By Stray Dog" Guhh,
if i was a lawyer in India, and there was wild dogs, bulls, and other
animals running around the court room, i'd prolly pick a different job..
Cuz that shizz has gotta be hazardous to yer health and i can't imagine
they get hazard pay over there.

|
"Excite
- U.S. Steps Up Effort to Combat Drunk Driving" You
know, it wouldn't be so bad, if we were all taught to drive, when we
were drunk.. Think about it.. We'd all be better drivers. I can see
it now, you go for your drivers test, first stop, the local bar, where
you have to pound back your choice of Alcohol (either 4pints of beer,
or 6shots of booze). Then off to the hazard course. Tell me that wouldnt
rule..

|
"Yahoo
- 3DO Raises $4.6Million in Asset Auction"
YES! No more shitty 3DO games.

|
"Who
to Kill.com" *snicker* awesome!
Sent in by: Phenethaine

|
"BBCnews
- Russia Plans Mars Nuclear Station" heh the
russians love trying to be first at everything. Remember Sputnick? (i
dont i wasn't born yet), remember that first russian cosmonaut guy?
(yet again, i wasn't born). But yeah, depositing a Nuclear Power station
on mars, sounds pretty cool, but dont those things require alot of water
to operate?
Sent in by: mkow

|
"Yahoo
- Burglar Finds Bacon Head, Calls Police" Now
this is good, burglar breaks into house, finds something that looks
like a head in a jar, he bolts, and calls the police, police break into
house to investigate said head, but only found a wiremesh bacon head
in a jar. If ya think about it, a bacon head would be a pretty cheap
anti-burglar device.
Sent in by: Year Lee

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|
August
22th
|
|
"BBCnews
- Giant Gerbils Infest China" WHOA! 16"
Gerbils, at that size they could hunt cats. Now that is something i'd
pay to see, Giant Gerbils attacking Cats. heh. Oh wait, didnt they do
that in the movie 'Willard' ? cept it was just a swarm of rats, not
giant ones.. ah well.

|
"Evil
Dead the Musical.com" YES! BRING BACK ASH!
hay wait, this is playing in toronto, i should buy some tickets or something.

|
"CNN
- Sargeant Charges Breast Enhancement, Car to Pentagon"
hah! $130k usd in 'improper purchases'. awesome, if i had a company
credit card i'd be doing this. But IBM knows better then to trust me
with a Company Card :)

|
"eBay
- Castra-Kit Vintage Pig Castration System" durr..
this is cool, but im sure this is against some cruelty to animals law
or something. but i guess its 'vintage'. heh (i love the instructions).

|
"Ebaumsworld
- Japanese See-Thru Skirts" ghah! This is the
best idea ever, it looks pretty real too :) But yeah, i wonder how this
idea came about, I do admit, seeing a girl in panty is pretty arrousing,
but how it came about to print asses with panties on skirts is unbeknown
to me.
Sent in by: JCandy

|
"ESPN
- Alcor COO Put Williams Head Picture on Web"
ha! how could anyone think that these cryo-companies would be legit..
Sent in by: Year Lee

|
"GuerrillaNews
- Abandoned Mental Hospital" heh anyone seen
Section 7 ? or sector 7 ? aww crap, i forget the name of that movie.
you know the one about the Haunted Mental Hospital, where the contractors
go in, and have to clean out the asbestos. anyway, eventually they all
start to die/disappear. ugh i hate it when i cant remember a movie :(
Sent in by: Brill

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