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August 31st
"BBCnews - Tapes Rekindle Horror of 9/11" Welp, i wouldn't mind hearing these tapes, especially the firefighters tapes. i'll wait for .mp3's to be leaked.

"Ananova - Policewoman Suspended Over Prisoners Sex Request" lol, i dont know if that was the smartest idea for that bank robber, to file a request for sexual visits from a prison guard heh. anyway, i still believe that prisoners should lose all rights assoon as they are incarcerated. This whole bit about being able to watch tv, and have conjigual visits and stuff shouldn't be allowed. Prisoners should be forced to assemble childrens toys, or sew plush animals (something soothing, that wont give them any access to pointy metal objects).

"Mac.com - Video Music Awards, Britney and Madonna Kiss" i know every pre-pubescent male out there just jizz they're pants.. but britney needs to kiss more girls.. like maybe she should do a 24hour photo shoot with Shakira or something, where all they do is make out.

"CNN - Rush Hour Power Cut Hits London" hah, i'm surprized the British didnt try to blame this on canada. But wait.. the UK gets their power from the french.. Hrmm. Maybe the powergrid just surrendered? heh

"Ananova - Russian Rafters Use Rubber Sex Dolls" lol, this kinda thing makes me proud of my slavic heritage, cuz this is something i'd totally do hehe
Sent in by: _Spectre_
"Drudge Report -- Security Agents in Bangkok" awesome, drudge report rules.
Sent in by: mkow
"AJCNews - Intruder Fatally Injured During Home Burglary" rofl, file this one under 'the book of duh' -- "Dont use head to break window, can cause damage to vital arteries.
Sent in by: mkow
 
August 30th
"Newspaper Asia1 - In Just 5 Seconds, He Slashed Throats" ha! read this article, this couldn't have been described any better, i swear i can see it happening in my mind, directing it if you will, my only question is, was this like a box cutter, or a single blade-arm paper cutter, cuz when im imagining it, its the single blade-arm off a paper cutter, and he just casually starts cuttin' people with it, almost like a ballet, with blood..

"Mac Editor - Using a Mac" rofl. this is awesome."The File is Fucking Gone!".. (did i post this already?)

"CNN - Study: Female Gamers Outnumber Boys" uhh yeh, what they dont tell you is, these gamer-girls are NOT SEXY, and often look like the fonz' from happy days. "Eehhh.." if these girls were like super hot models looking for geeky guys with big wangs, i'd be all over the gaming industry playing games and shizz, but alas, not this year...

"HubbleSite - Scientist Track 'Perfect Storm' on Mars" uhm look at those "HI-RES" photos. they seem like 320x200 gifs that were stretched to like 1600x1200. Im not that impressed....

"Blogjam - Neil Armstrong - The Truth" *snicker* sound is required for this one, if you dont have sound you wont get it :) but yeah, serious. if i was on the moon, i'd have a mouth of a sailor.
Sent in by: WildAl
"PCT Online - Cockroaches Hamper Woman's Attempt at Record Domino Topple" owned. k if you have cockroaches in your convention centre, shouldnt you be focusing your efforts on getting rid of the infernal bugs, instead of trying to harbour idiots who are attempting to beat some stupid ass world record for Dominos? But yeah 13hour days, make me a shit-ton of money, whereas this girl just has a bunch of toppled dominos heh.
Sent in by: Steve M.
"The Register - PS2 Nuts Play GetAway for Real" ha! awesome!
Sent in by: Perlandra
 
August 29th
"GlobeTechnology - Netgear Flaw Triggers 'Accidental' Attack" You'd think that netgear would use a series of Time Servers in thier router products, or you'd think that they'd put a timer or something on the aux. requests for time :) ah well, it only takes once to screw up before you see how things *should* be done.

"Ananova - Man Torches Car After Failing Driving Test" ghah, I THOUGHT THE CAR WAS LAUGHING AT ME haha

"CNN - DNA Free's Man After 17 Years in Prison" Man i'd be so pissed. I dont think any 'apology' would end my hatred for the white man (if i was him). "HAY DOOD, WE MESSED UP, SORRY..." i'd be all about stabbing those law twisting bastards...

"Guardian - Scientists Discover Secret that Keeps French Slim: Eat Less of Everything" Whoa! who's paying these scientists. cuz i could have told these people the exact same thing (thanks to common sense) and only charged 1/2 of what these scientists did..

"Netscape News - THIS is in the Dictionary" ha! i egosurf once a month, to see if anyone is making nasty websites about me :)
Sent in by: pr0phnizt
"The Globe and Mail - No Smiling, We're Canadian" *snicker* yeah no more smiling in those passport photos. which is too bad, cuz i was gonna do one of the "Steve-o, double gun smiles" on my next passport photo (which is expired now :()
Sent in by: Wolf-
"ABCLocal - Birthday Party Accused of Stripping for Boys" omg, this didnt actually happen, this has to be a joke or something. Go-cart track was all rented, so she drove to a hotel, and gave the kids beer, while she did a strip tease and had them spank her... Seriously, the kid let this go on??? i'd be like "Mom, *smack* What on earth were you thinking.... Now go order us some pizza..." instead of like "Mom, heres a Dollar bill, rub your snatch on my friends face...."
Sent in by: b00
 
August 28th
"PopularScience - Incoming!" heh, this starts getting really interesting after the first page. check it out, its a surprizingly good read (atleast, it was interesting).

"Cnet - Tiny Hitachi Drive Hits 4GB" wheeee. huge storage wrapped in a small case. but this stuff needs to be cheaper, im not gonna spend .50$usd per meg on tiny storage, when i can pay 1$cad per gig for regular storage.

"Ananova - Canada's Big Hug Record Attempt Falls Flat" ghah!, This just goes to show you, that Newfoundland can't even break an easy record like "Biggest Hug".

"ModTown - Maxtor DiamondMax Plus 9 380GB SATA Raid-0" Alright, i dont normally post hardware reviews, but this is pretty leet, First, its the first article on any full production Serial-ATA (next generation IDE/ATA) drive that i've seen, aswell as the first SATA RAID article/review i've seen, plus it sounds completely badass, too bad im still in love with scsi.

"eBay - Wierd Gross Bra, That Fell Out of My Ceiling" *snicker*
Sent in by: _Spectre_
"CNN - 12-year-old Begins Medical School" "I MAY NOT KNOW WHAT A VAGINA LOOKS LIKE NOW, BUT I WILL SOON"..
Sent in by: Pyber
"Business Journal - Taxing Computer Connections?" uh yeah, i bet this will fly as well as the 'email postal tax' that was supposed to go through 5 years ago...
Sent in by: Wolf-
 
August 27th
"BBCNews - Sobig Virus 'Thwarted'"
Chinese web security firm, Beijing Rising Technology, said on Friday the Sobig F Worm had infected 30% of all e-mail users in the country.
wow, china sucks at network security...
"Yahoo Comics - Foxtrot - Hacking CNN" *snicker*

"CNN - Thai Ban for 'Big Flabby Buttocks'" hah! so Thailand bans songs that promote promiscuity, yet, they dont close down the child-whore houses... "HAY DOODS HAVING SEX WITH A 12YEAR OLD GIRL IS OK, BUT DONT LISTEN TO EMINEM OK?"

"NewScientist - Robot Spy Can Survive Battlefield Damage" hrmm snakebox eh... Havn't heard this one yet.. but the idea of a software being able to evaluate failure and modify the way it 'thinks' is pretty neat. but i can't see how these snake robots could possibly be faster then a wheeled/tracked counterpart.

"Washington Post - Microsoft Weighs Automatic Security Updates as Default" warning, registration required (not much, just d.o.b. and zip), anyway, its about time MS steps forward and says "Hay, automagic updates are nice, here they are for you, just click 'install'". I'm just curious what kinda strain this will put on their windowsupdate servers/network heh.
Sent in by: mkow
"CNN - MTV Awards Favorite: Johnny Cash" Everytime i see this, it nearly brings a tear to my eye, Johnny Cash is one of the greatest men who ever lived. and Mark Romanek couldn't have done a better job with the video.
Sent in by: Servo
"Bedlam.ru - Titanics True Story (in russian)" heh anyone else sense some anti-linux propaghanda, and the anti-american propaghanda? heh. Oh and to translate the sign that the Penguin holds into to english, it says "No Penguins in the Arctic Zone". NO LINUX PLZ heh
Sent in by: |TchorT|
 
August 26th
"Ananova - Sheep Sells for Record 128,000" Durrr.. for a sheep... all i can say is, that sheep better look like jenna jameson or something, cuz a thats alotta coin for a ewe.

"CNN - Whale Leaps Aboard Sailing Boat" Whoa, i've never heard of this before, i wonder if its mating season or something for whales....

"Battlefield 1982 - Interstate" Oh my christ, Interstate 76 was the best game of its time, I played it for WEEKS when it came out, the multiplayer action was unchallenged, nothing could beat putting 4 Cherub launchers on a '72 Manta (corvette) and blasting the crap out of other chimps in big rigs and gremlins heh.

"Wired - Genetic Tests In Your Bedroom" Whoa, using a CDROM laser to analyze dna and shizz. seriously, these kids who mess around with all these shoestrings and bandaid devices rule.

"OCWeekly - When you Wish Upon a Scar" OMG LOL the source for all happiness in n.america targeted by goths, now thats funny.
Sent in by: |TchorT|
"BBCNews - The Hidden Dangers of Documents" heh, yeh this isn't microsofts fault, how people use their software. If it was, they could be blamed for just about everything. "Software piracy is microsofts fault, since all these people who steal software, run their operating system."
Sent in by: mkow
"Pie in a Jar.com" OMG PIE IN A JAR~ Ready to eat.. thats awesome. i wonder if they'd ship to canada
Sent in by: Servo
 
August 25th
"CNN - Tampa's Crowd-Scanning Software Misses Crooks" heh, good too hear that this big brother software has done a complete belly flop, and here i was worried that this would be a total success and soon all cities would have camera's scanning the faces of people as they run errands and walk on the sidewalks, Screw you Identix!

"Excite - Woman Hurt as Cellphone Bursts into Flames" Nokia's rule. hey wait, i have an aftermarket battery on my nokia.. i wonder if i can turn this thing into a bomb or something. you know, Throw it at someone, then when they pick it up to steal it, and try to power it on it would explode and stuff.

"eWeek - IBM Tests Grid With Games" yup, this is some bad ass shizz, i was reading some redbooks/white papers on Grid networks from IBM, and i must say,if i could get into that shizz i'd be set for life, cuz i can honestly see grid based networks hitting the computer/server scene hard.

"Wired - Feds Want to Track the Homeless" yeah i bet they all watched Terminator III and realized that it is possible for someone to 'disappear'. But im all for shoving GPS sending units up the asses of the homeless. maybe that would be a threat enough to make them get a job or something. "Clean up your act, or we'll insert this popcan sized GPS sender into your ass, and track your whereabouts at all times..."

"TorontoStar - Crime Left Bandits Breathless" thats why you dont demand the money to be put in a bag. bring a brief case, and say "fill'er up", that way you can see all the money in there, and they cant hide a paintbomb in there. But yeah, also dont hold up a bank, if you have respritory problems. you prolly wont succeed.
Sent in by: _Psychic_
"Reuters - Canada Arrests 19 in Case with Sept 11 Parallels" i dont get it, how stupid can these people be? *knocking on pickering nuclear power plants door* "hay guys, can you let us in, so we can walk along the beaches?". that has to be the dumbest thing i've ever heard. that would be like, doing the presidential tour in the whitehouse, and hoping to be able to attack the president.
Sent in by: `Nemesis
"CDFreaks - Movie Company Blames Instant Messaging for Box Office Flops" ghah! i love the attitude of the Movie Industry "Just because we make shitty movies, doesnt mean the audience should warn the whole world about them, Come on, we're a bunch of greedy money grubbing bitches, give us your hard earned dollars inexchange for our shitty movies; it seems fair to us."
Sent in by: |TchortT|
 
August 24th
"Ananova - Plant Grows 40ft in Three Months" Anyone see Little house of horrors? I cant wait for this plant to grow a huge venus-fly-trap style mouth, and start devouring people :)

"The Register - Slammer Worm Crashed Ohio Nuke Planet Net" ha! go network security!

"WideView Software" I've seen this image before, but i always thought it was just 1 machine running a few quad display PCI cards. but it seems much leeter now..

"Cnet - MSN Messenger Upgrade, Blocks Trillian" aww crap. Looks like trillian has a few weeks to figure out a way around this upgrade :(. I hate MSN's clients its total bloatware. Plus, i've seen the new beta client, and its mad-unstable, i dont need a microsoft application crashing my microsoft OS all day :(

"Yahoo - Anna Promoting Bra's" this picture.... *snicker* i just dont know what to say...
Sent in by: Servo
"MTV - Wesley Willis Schizophrenic Street Singer, Dies" RIP Wesley :( the only thing i can hope for is that more people understand your music in death, then in life.
Sent in by: Brill and _Spectre_
"NewScientist - First Game-Playing DNA Computer Revealed" heh, a small step for DNA computing, one giant leap for gamers worldwide.
Sent in by: mkow
 
August 23rd
"MSNBC - What Lies Beneath" ROFL i've never seen an article with such a 'tongue-in-cheek' tone coming from MSNBC, I can't believe they actually published this, its actually funny. But yeah, Who in their right mind would be thinking "Hey if i buy that metal detector on that commercial, i'll find all sorts of gold coins and artifacts.. Seriously, You'd be lucky to find the change in your couch with that thing..

"Ananova - Eight Lawyers Bitten in Court By Stray Dog" Guhh, if i was a lawyer in India, and there was wild dogs, bulls, and other animals running around the court room, i'd prolly pick a different job.. Cuz that shizz has gotta be hazardous to yer health and i can't imagine they get hazard pay over there.

"Excite - U.S. Steps Up Effort to Combat Drunk Driving" You know, it wouldn't be so bad, if we were all taught to drive, when we were drunk.. Think about it.. We'd all be better drivers. I can see it now, you go for your drivers test, first stop, the local bar, where you have to pound back your choice of Alcohol (either 4pints of beer, or 6shots of booze). Then off to the hazard course. Tell me that wouldnt rule..

"Yahoo - 3DO Raises $4.6Million in Asset Auction" YES! No more shitty 3DO games.

"Who to Kill.com" *snicker* awesome!
Sent in by: Phenethaine
"BBCnews - Russia Plans Mars Nuclear Station" heh the russians love trying to be first at everything. Remember Sputnick? (i dont i wasn't born yet), remember that first russian cosmonaut guy? (yet again, i wasn't born). But yeah, depositing a Nuclear Power station on mars, sounds pretty cool, but dont those things require alot of water to operate?
Sent in by: mkow
"Yahoo - Burglar Finds Bacon Head, Calls Police" Now this is good, burglar breaks into house, finds something that looks like a head in a jar, he bolts, and calls the police, police break into house to investigate said head, but only found a wiremesh bacon head in a jar. If ya think about it, a bacon head would be a pretty cheap anti-burglar device.
Sent in by: Year Lee
 
August 22th
"BBCnews - Giant Gerbils Infest China" WHOA! 16" Gerbils, at that size they could hunt cats. Now that is something i'd pay to see, Giant Gerbils attacking Cats. heh. Oh wait, didnt they do that in the movie 'Willard' ? cept it was just a swarm of rats, not giant ones.. ah well.

"Evil Dead the Musical.com" YES! BRING BACK ASH! hay wait, this is playing in toronto, i should buy some tickets or something.

"CNN - Sargeant Charges Breast Enhancement, Car to Pentagon" hah! $130k usd in 'improper purchases'. awesome, if i had a company credit card i'd be doing this. But IBM knows better then to trust me with a Company Card :)

"eBay - Castra-Kit Vintage Pig Castration System" durr.. this is cool, but im sure this is against some cruelty to animals law or something. but i guess its 'vintage'. heh (i love the instructions).

"Ebaumsworld - Japanese See-Thru Skirts" ghah! This is the best idea ever, it looks pretty real too :) But yeah, i wonder how this idea came about, I do admit, seeing a girl in panty is pretty arrousing, but how it came about to print asses with panties on skirts is unbeknown to me.
Sent in by: JCandy
"ESPN - Alcor COO Put Williams Head Picture on Web" ha! how could anyone think that these cryo-companies would be legit..
Sent in by: Year Lee
"GuerrillaNews - Abandoned Mental Hospital" heh anyone seen Section 7 ? or sector 7 ? aww crap, i forget the name of that movie. you know the one about the Haunted Mental Hospital, where the contractors go in, and have to clean out the asbestos. anyway, eventually they all start to die/disappear. ugh i hate it when i cant remember a movie :(
Sent in by: Brill